Let's be honest: no one actually reads Pitchfork except people who write for Pitchfork (and UVA graduates). I like Pitchfork cause they listen to a whole hell of a lot more music than I do and they boil things down to simple numbers that assist me in making my music purchases. But really, why they gotta write such esoteric prose? I doubt I'm the only music fan who wasn't an english major.
Aside: Blogs are fun cause even if no one reads them you can be way funnier than in a diary. like way. who's fucked up dairy sounds like this post? not my diary. my diary says: Dear diary, Today I went out with OOMA, and he laughed at my joke. In a blog you're all: Whatever motherfuckers everyone laughs at my jokes.
Ok, but let's briefly examine the impact of reading Pitchfork on the brain of a person who graduated from a polytechnic institute (me).
From this about Panda Bear's Person Pitch: "When it came out this spring, Person Pitch seemed like a soundtrack to the thaw. Coming two-and-a-half years after Young Prayer, Panda Bear (Noah Lennox)'s spare and quietly devastating predecessor, the new album brought with it the vague expectation of that first warm breeze. [...] The music's oranges and reds and golds were perfect for the fall, and now that the days are short and the ground icy, Person Pitch sounds like something we'll be curling up with in hibernation. It remains a fixture. "
My brain (doctors are currently looking into the presence of all those numbers on my brain):
My brain on pitchfork:
Do you know what that paragraph is saying? The writer is basically saying that he's liked the fucking album all year. He liked it in the spring. He still likes it in the winter. Here's how I review Person Pitch: "It's fucking good. Go buy it. If you don't like it, you are stupid and have no taste."
Oh, and here's something else that is so upsetting:
At least Pitchfork has good taste. Ick. You can stream that shit online. Click Audio.
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